And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
