so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i barfeds in our rink
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
