But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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