i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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