I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
