There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
FUCK WHALES
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