Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
