Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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