I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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