I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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