Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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