How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
