dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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