I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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