would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also, beer. Big fan.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ok first of all what the fuck
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
