susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize