I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
