I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
