while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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