it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
