he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
