one two three fourrrrnication!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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