Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Terrible idea I love it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
