Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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