I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
