man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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