Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
