if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
