I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
