New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
