so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
