they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
