Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
