you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
