i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
