what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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