Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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