Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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