There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
