she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
