Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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