well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
