oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
