filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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