we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
the raccoons are back...
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