can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
