Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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