I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
