I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
