Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
